There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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