you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize