Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
