one might say we're banned from that church
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
