the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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