I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
