big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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