Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
