i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
