This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize