Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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