just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
