Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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