my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
