You don't have asthma, your pregnant
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
