Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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