Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
