I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
