chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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