Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I deserve this hangover.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
