Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
