come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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