direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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