i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well you can't waste a boner
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
