Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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