You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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