i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
