I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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