then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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