I just pynch a tree in the face
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
