the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
