if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
nutella sex= disaster
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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