Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
