who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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