I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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