eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
