too bad you live with your parents still
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
