Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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