Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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