It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
