When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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