He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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