small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
