if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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