Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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