i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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