jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
