I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
