ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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