You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
