Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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