You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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