I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
