At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
even my farts smell like vagina
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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