I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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