I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
