Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize