i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
