So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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