girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They are going to name an STD after you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
