Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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