I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
FUCK WHALES
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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