doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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