It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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