So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
