My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize