dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
